he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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