Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
