That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
