dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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