I must be too annoying 4 u.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
