How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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