You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
it's like heaven, but drunker
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Someone signed my nipple.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
