I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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