I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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