My first STD was from a foam party
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
