Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
