38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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