Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
