I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
