I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
