Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
