We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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