We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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