true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
