It's Friday. Sex?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize