you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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