You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
