I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
