So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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