I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
