I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
