Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
