lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
