Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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