Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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