how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
being pregnant is like rehab
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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