i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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