Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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