It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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