He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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