ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize