Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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