Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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