so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
