i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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