I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
