I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
