Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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