AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
