Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
