what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
