Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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