its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
