Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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