I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
