Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize