The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
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We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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