My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize