i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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