that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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