I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
