That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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