One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize