What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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