I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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