I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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