let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
