i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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