Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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