Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
