If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
love makes seman taste better
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
