community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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